Out of my mind

I guess I am out of my mind. Oh yeah! Here is why:

 

When I joined this IT field, people did tell me about the potential side effects – namely definitely developing a paunch, possible hair fall, sure shot back pain, stress and blah blah blah. But no one ever told me that we would go out of our minds. (As if it would have mattered if they had told us)

The past few days have been really pathetic and crazy. I have been literally working on word and excels. And that was when I realized how inept I was with those two things. (That is another story for yet another time). Coming back, working with word or excel alone is enough to drive a novice crazy. I worked on both. And oh, did I mention Outlook?

In a course of the life of every professional in this esteemed line of work, there would certainly be times when he/she gets some dreams, rather nightmare, about work. It may vary from managers to some code or the application or if it is dream, then some hot co-worker :P.

Imagine my case – I got a dream about writing my Technical specification document. And I say write coz that's what I dreamt. I didn't type folks, but I wrote it. In a A4 sheet of paper with pencil (of course with a rubber-on-top pencil). I wrote about 40 pages and re-wrote 20 of them. Imagine how much my poor hand would pain. In fact it still does (al la inception: a pain is in the mind :P).

I woke up drenched in sweat. I just couldn't sleep again. And finally when I did sleep again, I continued writing the document.

And the next day, when I opened the document, I indeed searched for some changes only to realize that I was surely out of my mind and I needed to get in touch with a psychiatrist. L

 

 

The two angels ;-)

There is no specific direction for this blog. Long time since I wrote. Waiting for a good-for-nothing call to being at 2100 hrs. To while away my time, I just was going through sites that I had something to do with even remotely. Trust me, I remembered this site finally(ahem!) and logged in without any agenda. I got a big surprise here. I had two followers. Yes! you read it right. I have 2 followers. T-W-O. Shocked, I came through to see who were the people with heart-of-gold. And I saw two names. Two friends of mine. I had seen both of them as friends. One as a school mate and the other as a colleague. My now, they seem like angels! (*Tears of emotion*).

Followers? for me? now that is a WOW! For me, if i had sponsors, a citi moment of success. A mediocre blogger, who writes jus once in a while, to suit his whims having followers! That is unheard of. Now that has made my day :P

Time for payback, don't u think??? No no.. worry not.. am not going to write everyday. I wouldnt want to lose either of you. After all how can an artist (not the painting one, but, as we say in tamil, kalaingan) exist without followers and fans!!(dont worry, soon enough, the world will indeed realize the talent in me and go ga ga).

An intelligent guy must have the sense to sustain the fan base. And thinking about it now... I shouldn't even be writing this if i need to sustain my "followers". This obviously show how much of an intellect I am :P
You people are the only thing apart from my shadow to follow me in what ever sense!! (may be shud i switch over to vodafone so that the puggy doggy would follow me???)
Anyway, my dear angels, since you have made my day - cash in on the gratitude that i have for you people, before I get a change of heart!! :-D

Bravery or cowardice?

This has been nagging me since yesterday. Is suicide an act of bravery or cowardice?
The amount of guts that is necessary to have to kill oneself is immeasurable. The mere thought of the suffering, however quick it may be, is enough to send shivers down one’s spine. The thought to commit suicide is one thing, but the resolve to put it into action is completely another thing. While these two are on one hand, the most important thing is the last minute fear of the death and the unknown beyond that engulfs a person who stands on the precipice of his/her life. This is what stops most of the people who contemplate committing suicide. Overcoming this fear is possibly one of the bravest things that can be done.

But then, how can a person committing suicide be deemed a brave thing. If a person has enough guts to kill himself/herself, then can’t that strength of mind and heart be reinforced into overcoming the pain that causes the thought of ending one’s life and continue ploughing on in life? Life is no bed of roses. If it is, then it surely has innumerable thorns. Trying to end one’s life prematurely is no solution to the misery. It is indeed a sign of weakness and cowardice. There is no pain that won’t fade with time. Every act can be redeemed, except suicide. There is no reason to end life without knowing what is in store. For all you know, the inspiration or tonic that was being waited for so long might have been just around the corner. A better prospect might have been in the wings. Suicide can be defined as the act of the weak hearted bowing down to the pains in life unable to face the challenge any more. It certainly isn’t a brave thing. It is a very cowardly thing to do. May be the only brave decision in the life of a coward.

A single moment of reflection of how much misery, which may never fade away, this act of killing one self would cause to other persons to whom they might mean so much, for whom life might around them, to whom one might be the guiding light must make the person get on with life.

But again perspective differs.
It may be a brave thing in some people’s view.
The first question that people ask, in fact most people ask, when they hear of suicide is: Where did he/she get the guts from?
Then again, it may be a cowardly act too.

But either of the things it may be, the one thing that suicide surely is that it is the most selfish act of all.

Yeah, F%^& you!

Random Musings

One of the things that I am thinking a lot over the last few days, to be more specific - since sunday, is that if you set a goal and work towards it - it will happen. The reason is one of my close buddy happened to tell me it will happen. And I am trying to think over it.

How much of luck is involved in it, is my biggest question. But on the contrary, Is there anything called luck?
How much of it boils down to opportunity? But then, isn't it up to oneself to create opportunity?
Boy o boy I am so confused.

My fren wanted to marry a girl of his choice, with the consent of his family. I feel that is a goal that doesn't need any luck . He had to struggle a lot for it. It was a goal he set, and a noble one at that. His unrelenting parents, one fine day, gave their consent. I am not sure how much of work he put into it., but then he was steadfast on his goal and it happened.

Another thing was he wanted to be something or the other(i honestly don't remember wat) professionally. He told me it was a long long way off but he had to start in the right track. He started by preparing the right things. But there was every chance that he might end up miles away from what he wanted to be. I am saying this because there wasn nothing in his hand. All he can do was to prepare. but it all eventually boiled down to the type kind of project he was put into, the type of work he did and the company. This involved a lot of luck with a fair dose of opportunity.

Luck came his way, it was amazing that he attended a lot of interviews, but none of the offer letters seem to come even though they said he was selected. Believe it or not, it happened with not one, but three companies. Finally one came thru and immediately came a project that was exactly what was needed to kick start him into the fast track lane to his destination.

I am now thinking: Is a person who is not where he/she wants to be a failure? How can the person be blamed when things that aren't exactly in her/his hand plays such a crucial factor??
Where would my friend be if one of the companies that didn't release his offer had done so? I am not so sure.

But as he said: Everything that u get is a reflection of what u feel and what you do.
I was never a believer in such things, but when he gives me such a reasoning, I am forced to think!!
But then, more than anything, i feel that if u r content with what u r and work towards being better in things u do, you will eventually be in a better place than what u had set out to be :-)
There is nothing called failure if not for ur mind!! :-)